When you commit your existence to your spiritual path, it changes everything you value. It changes how you view time, how you view money, how you view people, life, death, love, joy, anger, intimacy,…. It changes everything.
When I heard the call to go to the Mayan world, I knew most people wouldn’t understand, but this calling was loud, deep within me, in the silence of my heart. It was a calling I couldn’t, I wouldn’t ignore. I felt it in my being, in every cell of my form and I have learned to listen to this heart of mine. It has become my most trusted friend, my most accurate guide and although I listen carefully, I also ask for confirmation to ensure I’m hearing clearly.
I didn’t ask anyone for advice or read a book on how to do this. There was no committee, no permit, no planning and no permission given. I let go of the fear and the judgments and I just listen and followed. I listened and trusted. I listened to love and I loved completely… with all of me, with no reservations. In the perfection of love, trust is where you live.
In Maya, I reached out and touched the rocks, the stones, the dirt, the sand and the heart of my ancestors. I felt the rhythm in the breath of the forest and I swam in the sacred underground waters of the land. I cried with the rain, I laughed with the rainbow and I sang with the pelican by the oceans edge.
I met the sacred guardians of the spaces and shared my respect and love. I met an abuser of power who thought to manipulate and surprised him with so much light he fell in love with life. Subtle and softly, powerfully loving. Without knowing where I was going – I was exactly where I should be. Each moment in perfection.
I found myself surrounded by such beauty, incredible harmony and at the same time everything was falling apart, only because everything is illusion. Meant for a time, not forever. Only love is forever.
I met amazing hearts and souls who sometimes betrayed everyone, mostly themselves. My heart reaching out to them in compassion for I see each of us on the same journey of discovery, just at different places and I remember how scary and painful those heavy places can seem.
I found answers in the silence, not in the location, because ‘there’ is almost like being ‘here’. It’s all the same, except for some subtle differences. Energetic layers activating my generational connection to the records of ages. I found what I was seeking inside of me. I knew it was there all along and I am grateful to every soul on my journey that helped me in gaining awareness.
As I come home again, there is no badge or certificate to show I succeeded. No applause, praise or proof to show anyone. I don’t get a new title or plate on the door. Perhaps you would like a cute story, but the truth would be lost with words. If we could link minds and hearts, then you would fully understand the healing, the love. I think I’ll wait until that day – it is sooner than you might expect. Until then you will see it in the way I walk, in the way I smile, in the way I love.
This journey was one of the most powerful things I’ve ever done and the effect within me is deeper and more profound than I could ever explain. It’s this feeling that feeds my souls and lightens my heart. It’s this feeling I follow and listen to and I am more connected with myself, with the whole universe than I have ever felt in this life.
I am thankful for this gift. It’s within me and will always be mine and ours. With wings of light I’m riding these waves of joy and deep laughter in our hearts and souls. One day we’ll connect and share our love in the most intimate merging…
Love is what forever means….